How to bring him back to the bedroom and increase the libido? How to get as much sex in marriage as you want?
Your husband too often says “Not today, darling”? It is difficult not to feel rejected at this moment. However, this does not mean that he has lost interest in you. The reasons can be different, even trite “not in the mood”. Here are the 10 most common reasons why a man refuses sex, as well as advice on how you should act in such cases.
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1. He just wants to relax after a long day
If he closes in his “male cave” every evening, then this can become a pattern of your separation. He may not even realize that you miss him. Tell him about it! “Dear, it seems, we spend most of our evening time separately. I know you want to relax, but I miss you. Maybe we can relax together somehow. ” Find something that pleases you both: drink wine, read side by side in bed, watch your favorite TV series. As soon as there is unity, there will be an opportunity for solitude.
2. He remembered the children
Many parents are engaged in brilliant sex. But some husbands do not see in their wives the coveted sexual objects when they become mothers. Another killer of libido is the placement in the center of the family of children, not her husband. Remove all signals about children from your bedroom: toys, photos, even underwear. And if children are rushing to your room, when you want to be alone with your husband, tell them: “This is the time of mom and dad.”
3. He wants to play video games or watch sports
Talking face to face, as women want, is unnatural for husbands. He sits down on World of Warcraft or looks hockey with the guys, because he does not have other emotional attachments. To tear it away from the screen, agree on what kind of nights you will spend with each other. It’s not about days off or dates, which, of course, bind the marriage. It’s a question of an agreement that is permissible in your relationships in everyday life and what is not.
4. This is the time of the month
Some men remember the women’s terms and refer to this period with some disgust. Others suggest that you yourself do not want to engage in possible “dirty” sex. But if the growth of hormones during menstruation increases your sex drive, let him know. This can be both rich experiences for you (even if you have to sacrifice a towel or two).
5. He wants more spontaneous sex
Do you remember the times when you wanted to have sex in the kitchen? Yes, it is difficult to maintain this impulsiveness when there is more responsibility, to avoid turning sex into one of the items on the list. So plan the script in your head. But do not let him into your plan of seduction. When he returns from work, be dressed as before, when you have only met, and see how quickly spontaneity returns. There are other things that are worth trying: send the children at night to the grandmother or replace the traditional dinner and movie before going to bed for sex at the hotel.
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6. He worries about the result
Your sexual pleasure depends on his ability to be on top. And this is a lot of pressure! Plus, his previous non-star sexual contact can add anxiety and make him turn off at that moment. If you know that this is the case, then ask him to do something nice for you, for example, oral sex or stimulation with your hands. Most likely, your excitement will also excite him.
7. He compares himself to “Super Mike” and loses
“Super Mike” – the hero of the eponymous film (Magic Mike), an experienced stripper, a model of masculine beauty with a heart and muscles. It is unlikely that this will be news for you, but worry about its diminishing attractiveness not only of women. Particular emphasis is placed on flat stomachs, and men feel this pressure. So let him know that in any case he is the winner of the race for your heart. Change your lifestyle so that you lead an active lifestyle together. A little physical exercise, even regular joint walks will help you both to gain confidence and energy. If everything fails, ask him to massage. You face down and with a naked body – a natural desire will take its own.
8. He looks too much porn
If he spends a lot of time on the Internet, this does not mean that he has lost his attraction to you. But the amount and variety of images that he looks online can reduce a man’s desire and lead to erectile dysfunction. If the rating of films for adults grows, and sexual activity decreases, you need to speak honestly and directly with your husband about the problem. The smartest move in such a situation will be an appeal to a specialist.
9. He worries about the work
This is a good idea : Agree on the time of the meeting, turn off the phone, do not check the work mail and focus on each other. But be flexible when he calls for duty, and he must answer. His irreplaceability gives him a sense of value. And this increases his self-esteem – in all areas. Protect and provide – a natural male instinct. That’s why, being his most passionate and devoted fan, you have to help him when problems arise on the job. Give him time to solve work issues and the opportunity to feel confident, and you will receive a lot of enjoyment as a reward.
10. He would prefer to sleep
If a man is given a choice between creating a romantic atmosphere and sleeping, he can decide that he is too tired … So if one of you is exhausted at the end of the day, then this is not a problem, but only The goal to do it in the morning.