Being rejected by a potential partner is painful, awkward and unpleasant. This can significantly reduce your self-esteem, and it’s frustrating. Painted and naftanizirovannoe you the future actually slips out of hand. It is quite natural for you to want to calm yourself down. You will cry, crave solitude and restore balance. And, of course, you will want to heal hurt pride.
Now you need a sense of comfort, as rejection and rejection of you as an individual can actually affect part of the brain associated with physical pain. You not only calm your emotions, but also treat your physical condition. And although there is no unambiguous “right” way to fight your mental and physical state after a refusal, there are definitely several wrong ways that can not only harm you, but also push people away from you.
In these situations psychologists give almost standard advice: do not take it personally . Yes, when they reject us, we perceive it too personally, but usually the refusal is connected with many other factors. The person whose relationship we are looking for may not want them now. Imagine it as, say, a publisher who does not yet want to publish the book, considering it untimely or not enough interesting. By accepting the refusal personally, you completely condemn yourself for a situation that is two-sided. It is best to look at it from the point of view of both sides and consider that in some way the puzzle did not converge.
Blaming yourself is just too hard for mental health, because in most cases refusal, as such, does not hurt or destroy you as a person. The main thing is not to exhaust yourself and think that you are defective. In most cases, the word “no” does not mean that something is wrong with you – it’s just that you are not quite exactly matching what another person is looking for. And if you do not perfectly fit someone, it does not mean that something fundamentally wrong with you. At the same time, it may be worthwhile to look honestly at yourself and think about whether it’s worth changing and making yourself better in order to become someone really ideal partner in the future.
In addition, one of the worst things that you can do after you have been rejected is to continue to impose or persuade your chosen one. In fact, you only aggravate the situation and make the refusal even more final and irrevocable. You continue to hurt yourself mentally, and trying to convince a person who rejected you, that he made a mistake, or get angry with him can lead to the most deplorable results.
And the inability to feel boundaries often indicates internal personal problems that are completely unrelated to romance and relationships. If you are rejected, your worst reaction is to insult and humiliate the person who refused you. His “no” does not give you the right to behave this way, showing your own permissiveness. Accept rejection with dignity and learn from experience.
Failure will never be a positive and joyful event, but it is also never a dead end. After all, this person can actually do you good, so that you can find someone more suitable to you.
And again: in most cases, the refusal has nothing to do with you; Then this is not your man, but your real half is still waiting and looking for you.