Have a talk with the sexologist and found out what frightens off men from us
Find a husband in three months? Sexologists claim that this is real. The main thing is to understand the reasons for our failures.
– As the practice shows, if a woman starts a relationship, they can break down at some particular stage, says the family psychologist, sexologist Julia Varra. – It is necessary to understand at what point a man starts rejection, and work it out, change his behavior.
You can meet your love anywhere: at work, on a dating site, at a bar and Even in the club.
– Men are everywhere, – says Julia Varra. – A woman is always in demand. It does not matter how old she is, what her weight and social status are. And if a woman really wants to marry, the only question is how to submit herself.
The main mistake at this stage is found among girls who were brought up in austerity and since childhood were told about decency. They sometimes develop the view “do not go, I will kill.” Pleasant, calm, sensual men, this look scares away immediately. They do not even try to meet you. But arrogant and often not the most worthy candidates try to break through. And then the woman complains that she does not like normal men – they do not suit her. They are not suitable for her.
The first date
You met at a restaurant, had a nice chat, but the man did not call back. If it repeats over and over again, then something woman does wrong. As a rule, mistakes are quite simple.
There are women who are ready to tell on their first date all their lives, about all their failures: at work, there is no money, and a lot of credits. The man had not yet fallen in love, and he was already dipped into other people’s problems. What was worth telling after three months of dating, she dumped at the first meeting. And he escapes.
However, about the presence of the child must be reported immediately! If a man does not plan to have children, then do not waste it and your time. There are a lot of decent options that want to take a woman with a child. They have to build their marriage policy on them.
The first sex
If one, the second, the third candidate escape immediately after the bed, then the problem is in sex. It is necessary to understand with a specialist what mistakes a woman makes at this stage.
One more question – on what date it is possible to go to the stage of intima.
Much depends on the girl’s sexual temperament. Hot little things better to hold out at least until the second date. At them a problem – to not be given at once. But a girl with a weak sexual type would be nice at least on the third date to promise something.
But in general, the first date of sex is better not to end. The man is not coming to you, but to some hypothetical image. If he drags a woman to bed, it’s not because he’s in love, he just wants sex. On the second date, the situation is different. The man is already principally towards you. So you can allow sex.
It is believed that the longer you hold a man without sex, the more he will fall. Sometimes yes. But only if the girl is confident in herself and knows for sure that he is ready to wait.
Often my clients say: “I liked him very much, such a nice man in all respects, but I could not give up after the second date “. She did not give herself up, but the man did not call anymore – she missed him. Alas, women have a lot of rivals who are much more accommodating.
In America, the book “The Rule of 90 Days” (author of books on psychology and TV host Steve Harvey – WD Note) is very popular. Its essence – no sex for three months. Let him lead you on a date, repair your car, but no intimacy. Frankly: for Russian women, this book is useless. Our men under 90 days without sex in relationships do not live out.
Of course, if a girl is incredibly beautiful, she can pull with affinity long enough. But if for three dates she has not decided on a choice, then she simply does not know what she wants. Here it is necessary to work with the first stage – motivation.
However, there are men who can wait for three or more visits, and after gaining sex, disappear. These are, perhaps, found for every woman. All the photomodels, stars and secular lionesses had men who disappeared after the first night. These are just hunters who are interested in getting sex at one time. No matter how wonderful a woman is, he will disappear anyway. If only the percentage of such fugitives is not off scale. The main thing is not to despair. Do not criticize yourself. We close this page to open the next one.
There is a type of women who already meet, but this is all frozen. It seems to be in a relationship, but there is no further development.
Either, worse, people have lived together for five years, but nothing happens. What is fraught with so-called civil relations: a woman believes that she is married, and a man thinks that he is single. She believes that they have a family, only he does not want children yet and does not hurry to the registry office. The partner believes that they simply rent an apartment together, and does not even inform her when she is leaving somewhere with friends.
Does this mean that you can not go to the wedding?
– Be sure to gather, – says Julia Varra. – These days it is one of the stages of transition to the family. People want to try, see if they can live together. But when he and she come together, it’s nice to discuss the point of entry and exit: “Dear, we will live six months together and if we arrange everything, we will set the date for the wedding, yes?” Of course, the man will nod in response, but the problem is that through Half a year everything will be forgotten. A woman just afraid to raise the topic of marriage, so as not to lose a loved one. And you can not be afraid! If your partner answers that you are not ready to get married, you must collect things and leave. And very often, after living alone, the man returns a month later, but already with a ring.