In the first year of the relationship, all couples experience similar emotions: passion, romance, an overabundance of feelings, sleepless nights … And after that ?!
Almost every couple notes that sexual interest in marriage slowly begins to decline. Is it possible to warm up the passion for many years and how to do it, Woman’s Day found out together with the psychologist Ekaterina Fedorova.
The rate of decrease in sexual appetite is different for everyone: someone already starts to miss in half a year, and someone – Only in 5-7 years. As a rule, the one who was more active in the pre-wedding period, who was the hunter (and this is not always a man), it cools faster. And here the main danger is the transformation of sex into a routine fulfillment of marital duty, always passing through the same scenario.
It is clear that knowledge of each other, including knowledge of the characteristics of sexual behavior, preferences, erogenous zones, and so on Etc., is a plus. The couple has found the most optimal scenario for obtaining satisfaction through trial and error. Found and calmed down. This script is played every evening, and at first it suits everyone. But one must not forget that everything is boring.
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] It’s like with your favorite pastries: try to eat them every day – and you hate them. Ideally, the combination of the usual scenario and deviations from it should be in the ratio of 80 to 20. If there are no such deviations, experiments, then sex in marriage will become boring.
When people married once and For life (and so it was not always, remember Slavic pagan holidays with their even for us shocking sexual binge), then to maintain sexual interest in marriage, posts were invented.
Abstinence during fasting only kindled sexual Interest, let the couple accumulate passion. A lot of posts: 40 days in spring and winter, 2 weeks at the beginning and end of summer, plus every Wednesday and Friday. Although it was believed that if her husband really needs it, then it is possible, but in general, men were forced to restrain their desires. Due to this, the passion was maintained. Now, probably, you should not force your husband to fast, if you are both not deeply religious, he will just think that you are slowly going crazy.
But the periods of abstinence in any case will not hurt. It can be business trips, trips. Many women from menstruation make a period of abstinence, which is also not bad.
How much should the husband go about if a couple of days after the wedding he already has a variety of vitally important and he insists on it? First of all, do not forget that the path of the victim always ends badly.
You can not let your husband do whatever he wants. If any of his wishes are fulfilled instantly, he will become completely uninteresting that he wants you, your desires will cease to be taken into account.
In order to have balance, harmony, one should never fulfill all requests. There should be restricted areas, where you can not. And let it live with her husband as an unrealizable erotic fantasy. In bed, only what they want is going to happen. If the husband calls you to a swinger club, and you do not want to go there at all, then there is no reason to agree. It’s another matter if you are most interested. But keep in mind – swinger club actually translates your relationship from family to partner, even friendly. Exclusiveness is removed, only joint management remains.
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A man whose whims are executed on demand is an unhappy child who already has all the toys and that he has nothing to dream about anymore.
His nothing Does not surprise and does not please. Restrictions must be. Even if you do not mind embodying his whim, it would be nice to say “no.” Then then, in a month or a year, your “yes” will be for him a gift, not a passing episode. Do not forget: you have many years to live with him, you still have time to carry out all your experiments and fulfill your fantasies.
In addition to the periods of abstinence and forbidden zones, mystery, intrigue will help to keep the passion.
The French, for example, never disclose their cards to the end. It is believed that both the two crossed wedding rings have only a small common plane, and in relations between spouses there should be a small zone of full revelation, and everything else should be hidden from the husband. A woman should have her own life, then she will be a “fam fatal” – a mystery woman, a fatal woman.
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That in the relationship there was a passion, they should not be even.
For this, nature is provided with a physiological Mechanism of mood changes in women. Ovulation – and everything is fine, but closer to monthly begins the horror: the female hormones have fallen, the male hormones have risen, and I want to kill everyone.
Half a month we are soft, beautiful and fluffy, and then for no reason at all Tears, because the dog sad on the street met, then screams, because the husband did not put milk on the shelf in the refrigerator. No man is able to get used to this, but this variability is not only the cause of quarrels and stresses, but also a pledge of female attractiveness.
Crises exist in all families, but some overcome them, others do not. Yes, it is sometimes difficult to find the strength in yourself, coming home from work, to arrange a romantic dinner and a sleepless night, it’s difficult to relax when children are sleeping behind the wall, and evil neighbors are at the top.
At such moments, there is only one way out: to arrange Another honeymoon, where only you and your paradise. Do not forget that any relationship needs emotional recharge, even if between you is the true love.