We learned that we need to promise that you will be elected to the presidency!
“Politics is too serious a matter to trust its politicians,” Charles de Gaulle once said. That’s why they entrust politics to porn actresses, comedians, donkeys and goats.
Pope Doc Forever!
The Haitian dictator François Duvalier has not appropriated to himself the titles and titles! A worthy heir of the founders of the Haitian nation, the spiritual father of the Haitians, the apostle of national unity, the knight without fear and reproach, the supreme leader of the revolution, the great benefactor of the poor, the leader Of the third world, no less than the Sun of Haiti and the King of Happiness.
Dr. François Duvalier, or Pope Doc, who was Minister of Health at the beginning of his political career, reached the presidency in 1957 and over the years of government turned Haiti into a country with a politico-military dictatorship that was supported by the financial injections of the United States, the terror of the ultra-right gang of tonon-makauts and the faith of Haitians , That their president is a great voodoo sorcerer (becoming president, John F. Kennedy stopped assistance to the regime of Duvalier, for which the hysterical dictator wiped his wax figure with needles and publicly announced that he was sending an American prez Dent curse.
A few weeks later, Kennedy was assassinated, the authority of the Pope Doc flew up, and the next US president decided not to risk and continue to help the dictator they can, namely, money and weapons). All the official posts filled with exclusively trusted faces of the president. The former head of state was shot. Other political opponents and suspected of disloyalty were abducted and destroyed by the president’s gang, the so-called death squadron. The basements of the government palace were converted into warehouses with weapons in case of uprisings.
At the end of the presidential term, the dictator remembered such an annoying formality as the elections, and took preventive measures. He dissolved the parliament elected with him, and on April 22, 1961, held elections in a new one. To the ballot boxes for the vote of the electors were escorted by armed soldiers, and as a result all 58 deputies were approached by Duvalier. But this is not the main thing.
The bulletins on which deputies were elected were barely discernible: “Dr. François Duvalier is president.” Therefore, after counting the votes, the Haitians were announced that together with the parliament they had re-elected the head of state for a new term. At the end of the second term, the president again did not want to part with the authorities and, as a result of the following non-alternative elections held on June 14, 1964, declared himself president of Haiti forever. The bulletins printed a decree proclaiming Duvalier a president for life, and the question “Do you agree?” With a single answer, “Yes.” Anyone who had anything against should have written “No” on their own, which meant personally signing a verdict and becoming a victim of the persecution of the dictator’s gang.
By choosing a lifelong president, the Haitians unanimously learned the words of the new anthem, “Papa Doc Forever.”
The post has passed – the post has won!
Almost half of US presidents were avid poker players, and in the town of Estancia, New Mexico, the candidate for local elections once won the poker mayor post!
But it was so. According to the law of this state, among two or more candidates for the state post, who have received an equal number of votes, the winner is determined in some kind of gambling. In the elections to the mayors of Estancia in 1998, James Farrington and Joan Carlson scored 68 votes each. The party in the favorite game of American presidents revealed the winner. James Farrington turned out to be a more successful poker player, the post of mayor was the award. And no expense for the second round!
Charles King, 17th President of Liberia, the country of American Negroes released into freedom, came to power in 1927. He was given 234,000 votes with 15,000 voters registered in the country, and his opponent lost with disgrace, Then 9000 votes. Later, in 1982, fraud on such a scale was awarded to the Guinness Book of Records as the most falsified.
The record has not been beaten to this day, but, as you know, none of the possible candidates called the Guinness observers to fix a new record.
The Jester is the strongest card
Reykjavik’s Mayor in 2010 became stand-comic Jon Gnarr, who in his youth bore the nickname Jonsey-punk and married a friend of Bjork. And the “Best Party” that he founded won the election to the city council, gaining more than a third of votes.
In 2008, the incumbent authorities could not save the country from the financial crisis, and on the wave of general discontent the comedian with his satirical party shut up serious opponents for a belt. At the same time, he openly stated that he was not going to fulfill any promises made by his party, but he guaranteed a cheerful and joyful future. This bribed Icelanders. “The city will not be controlled by jokes, but satire is a great way to think” – so Jon Gnarr put in place in the main debate of the then acting mayor, Hannah Christandotter. He also reacted to the victory in elections with a joke: “ Why do I always get into trouble? “
Importing squirrels from London! The polar bear in the zoo! Free towels in the pools! Disneyland at the airport! What else is necessary for happiness? After taking up the post of mayor, he moved from comic promises to real deeds. For example, convinced that Iceland should not join NATO, it banned them from landing on aircraft in Reykjavik, as well as company planes carrying prisoners for the Guantanamo prison. He refused to meet with the NATO command, while their warships are in Iceland’s harbors, then infuriated his country’s parliament. “We are so small and so dependent on good relations with big countries that we show our respect at every opportunity. That’s why, if a military ship enters our harbor, we arrange a reception for the command. There is no point in this. ” In support of peaceful belief, the cabinet of the mayor-comedian was decorated with a picture of Banksy, on which a hooligan is going to throw not a Molotov cocktail, but a bouquet of flowers. In 2014, Jon Gnarr was awarded a grant from Lennon – Ono For Peace.
And he also has a tattoo on his arm in the form of a Reykjavik coat of arms and a daughter – Margreta Edda Gnarr is a model, fitness coach and singer with a black belt in taekwondo, Than the inhabitants in Iceland.
Comedians, unlike dictators, easily part with power. In 2014, Jon Gnarr stated that he would not be elected to the presidency of Iceland, nor again to mayors, and returned to acting.
Babe – Flowers, Children – Ice cream / Dolce vita!
Sometimes for discontent with the authorities You need a financial crisis, just one annoying slip. When in the town of Carmel on the coast of California were banned from selling fast food and ice cream, Clint Eastwood, an actor, director, composer and the owner of four Oscars, came to the aid of the residents. The main promise of his election campaign was to return Ice cream to the people. The actor worked as mayor from 1986 to 1988. For a second term AND Stewood was not re-elected, according to rumors, at the request of the residents themselves, who were fed up with crowds of Hollywood star fans in their tiny town.
The expectations of a sweeter life helped actor Jakob Haugarde to take his place in the Danish parliament in 1994. He promised to add For breakfast to soldiers in the army “Nuttellu.” And among the pre-election statements of Donald Trump is to return the production of “Oreo” cookies in the USA.
Anna Staller brought some porno to the Italian parliament, known in the XXX industry as Cicciolina. In 1987, she became a deputy from the Radical Party. The first porn actress-MP in history spoke against nuclear energy, Italy’s membership in NATO and for helping the starving around the world. Even tried to resolve the conflict in the Middle East by offering Saddam Hussein, his services for the night in exchange for the withdrawal of troops from Kuwait. The proposal was transmitted to the Iraqi ambassador in Rome, but remained unanswered.
For real Terrible things happen in elections in some African countries where shamanism and witchcraft are flourishing and considered to be the most effective political technologies. “Before the presidential and parliamentary elections in 2015 in Tanzania, the government and personally President Jakaya Kikwete demanded that candidates not resort to the help of sorcerers.
In the wild traditions and superstitions of the Sama It is considered to be witchcraft with the use of parts of bodies and blood of the people-albinos, who, to great tragedy, in Africa are much more than in other parts of the world. The Albinos are kidnapped and killed. In 2009, several murderers were sentenced to death, but subsequent hunters for profit. This did not stop, more often they began to maim the albinos, cutting off their arms or legs. In 2013-2015, 70 people were killed in the country. In Tanzania, Burundi, Congo, Kenya, Uganda and some other countries, international trade in parts of albino bodies is flourishing.
If elections are planned in one of these countries, it is necessary to save people with the absence of skin pigmentation throughout the African continent. So, the Kenyan authorities had to send their albinos to specially fortified settlements before the Tanzanian elections. The protection of albinos in Africa and the education of people obsessed with prejudice is dealt with by the Canadian organization Under the same Sun and the United Nations.
“We decided to bring a bit of truth into politics: in the elections only donkeys were allowed” – so the organizers Commented on candidates for honorary mayors of the city of Florissant in Colorado. From this battle of asses, Paco Bell emerged victorious. Donkey Paco became an honorary mayor twice – in 2000 and 2004.
And in the Texas town of Lahitas in 1986, the mayor was the drinking goat Henry Clay. For the city, he did, perhaps, more than any other mayor in human form: his love for beer glorified the city and attracted tourists. Later he was succeeded by Henry Clay Jr. and Henry Clay the Third. The ruling dynasty was marked by a constant love for beer.
And a couple of the secrets of the success of the presidents disclosed by them:“I need that no voter can scratch with a scrap of paper that does not have my image” – Lyndon Johnson, 36th President of the United States.“The election results are directly proportional to the number of brandy put up for voters” – George Washington, 1st President of the United States.