Even when the family disintegrates, the child has two parents, let both live separately. The father is an important figure in the upbringing of the daughter, he personifies the male principle, from his figure the girl builds the prototype of the future man. Therefore, it is so necessary to maintain a normal emotional connection between them, to receive support from the pope. However, if the mother has to take everything upon herself, we will help to raise the child happy, despite any difficulties.
How to raise a girl to a single mother? Read 7 useful tips
1. Allow the child to love the Pope this way
Bad memories and resentments for adults are better left to themselves, the daughter should not take over the feelings of parents, judge the father with her mother’s eyes, or even reject it at all. Dad did not leave her, he did bad for his mother, but the child continues to love. Do not discount the figure of the husband in the eyes of her daughter, do not water the former mud, do not make her disappointed in the father so early. The daughter has the right to his presence in his life. So do not deprive her of an additional source of strength, protection and joy.
2. Do not mold from the girl “Miss Self-sufficiency”
The huge mistake of single women with a child is the cult of strength and self-sufficiency, the desire to grow a small independent copy of itself. Such a mother drags her family and financial concerns, not wanting to accept help from outside, instructing her daughter to take an example. What is the result of such a desire to protect yourself? The child grows with the same set of complexes and fears, without even trying life to taste. Such a girl has already depreciated in advance and does not admit men to her, she gets used to doing everything herself, and therefore is doomed to the role of a loner. Teach her to ask and accept help, do not belittle the role of a man in her life.
3. Bathe it in love and tenderness
Do not be afraid, it will not work! Excessive rigor, exactingness and bezemotsionalnost in relations with the daughter leads to the formation of her complexes and low self-esteem. She gets used to satisfy other people’s whims, only to get approval. This leads to the formation of an uncritical evaluation of themselves in adulthood, fraught with problems on the personal front, inability to uphold their principles. Be gentle, more stroked the child on the head, hug for nothing. Unconditional love is the guarantor of the baby’s happiness in the future.
4. Often notice how good she is
Continually emphasize the defects of her daughter, point to unsightly features, a bad manner to dress or not the habits of character – a path to nowhere. With this approach, you will lose the child, impart a negative look at yourself, hatred of the individual characteristics of her character. On the contrary, pay attention to the girl’s dignity, often praise, encourage, notice the good. If there is something to work on, start to set a positive example of how to be successful, beautiful and happy, and the child will necessarily want to try on your experience. Just do not force it!
5. Deliver the past from the halo of “Ideality”
There is no need to go to extremes – to draw the image of the father is unrealistically heroic, to attribute it to the past of colors that were not. Often women come up with stories about the father of an astronaut or a firefighter who was so wonderful that it’s time to write fairy tales. The truth will still come up, leaving an unpleasant sludge of disappointment. And still, a girl can grow and subconsciously look for the most ideal man, what supposedly was her father, but these do not exist. Do not create a hero, let the stories be truthful, with a bias in the good, because it was? Tell us how you met, how the pope wore flowers to you, that’s enough. And yes, do not mention the phrase “character in the father!”, It acts on the child destructively.
6. Prepare her to get acquainted with the “new daddy”
To come to hand with another man and shock the daughter from the threshold, they say, meet the “new daddy” – not the best idea that can traumatize the child’s psyche for many years. Do not rush with new acquaintances, but rather – prepare the ground in advance with stories about how you want to meet a good man and live a big united family. When you have an applicant, make sure the seriousness of his intentions and only then tell him about his daughter. And do not ask the child for an opinion about whether you can have relationships with other men, this is not a child’s decision, it’s your life and your feelings. And do not force her to call someone else’s uncle “daddy”, she should come to it herself.
7. Look for the right examples of masculinity
Finally, if in your life there is no strong male shoulder, this does not mean that you need to deprive your daughter of communication with male figures. She must gain this experience, see in the man the strength and support, feel the energy resonance. Well, if there are examples of adult and responsible men in the person of grandfather, brother, best friend of the family or a teacher who will help the girl to feel protected, she will be taught how to feel beautiful and interesting in the eyes of the opposite sex. Compliments, recognition and help from other men are important. They teach it to build the right picture of the world, take the right role model, build a harmonious relationship.
Remember, it does not matter whether the family is full or not. It is important to maintain mutual understanding, not forget to support each other and openly express love. You can be a small family, but happy!