Freud called female sexuality “the dark continent”. If this is so, then male sexuality can qualify as a “dark planet”. Do you think when it comes to sex, then guys are so simple? No. The bedroom is one of the most important stages of becoming a man. What you see and hear is just a role, often far from reality. It’s no wonder that, trying to please the “actor”, a woman can not discern his true male identity. Here are 10 facts you need to know about what he really wants in the bedroom and why.
1. He responds to praise
It is believed that men are so absorbed in their libido that they are in fact all the same what is happening around during sex. But they are no different from women when it comes to compliments. For the strong half of humanity they are the catalyst of sexual activity. The praise of a loved one can be bestowed on both to the bed (tell him how he looks), and after (tell him how he looks naked). Just be careful, men are very worried about the size of their dignity (yes, and other measured organs too), their hair (or their absence) and other attributes of masculinity and sexuality.
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2. He is afraid of intimacy
Studies show that boys are more affectionate and even more expressive than girls, until they reach school age. At this time, social “oppression” begins (pressuring social roles), and their desire for intimate relations becomes a secret, they close. The desire for intimacy turns into a kind of taboo. So if after sex your boyfriend wants to be alone, give it to him. Do not insist on talking. Wants – he will share with you.
3. He is not only his penis
Yes, his penis gets a lot of attention, while men still have many erogenous zones. Sometimes they are afraid to direct women themselves, so that they do not close and do not stop touching them at all. But they need these touches, so pay attention to the chest, the inner thighs, the face. There are also two key places whose stimulation will enhance the sexual effect: its testicles (squeeze them gently) and the area between the scrotum and anus (especially use during oral sex).
4. He values sex for sex
And sometimes he likes rudeness. As the candidate of medical sciences, a psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Cort, sometimes a man wants to enjoy rough, unbridled sex with his wife. For him it is akin to the fact that she gives him her honor. Try to resist your boyfriend on the occasion, let him take you by force, and you will see how much his desire and power increase.
5. He encourages fantasy
A man wants to share his fantasies, but worries that her woman will condemn. At the same time, a man wants a woman herself to reveal to him her fantasies. Do you want to try new opportunities? Play it. First, promise not to condemn each other. Then in private, write on the scraps of script that excites you, teases, gets drunk, and put them in a box. During the next closeness, pull out one of them. And if you are comfortable with it, implement it. If not, ask the author what exactly in this fantasy he likes. Perhaps the answer will prompt the desired direction, and the script will get a slightly different content.
6. He likes it when you say
Speech during sex stimulates more than hearing. What should I say? Anything: dirty, laudatory, instructive words. As funny as that sounds, your chatter can make a guy feel like a gladiator, even if he’s just an ordinary office employee.
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7. He needs your honesty
Sex can relieve tension in a relationship, but often in sex this tension manifests itself. If a man complains about the lack of sex (or that you do certain things only on your birthday), then this indicates serious problems. Know, the male ego is attached to sex. And if he hints at your disinterest or indifference, then this clearly requires discussion. Avoiding these problems only aggravates his disappointment.
8. He enjoys dancing and porn
A man is like a good quest, unfortunately, there are so few of them these days. But romance smoothes the differences. Dr. Court points out that emotional intimacy is about intimacy, and certain distances are required to maintain sexual desire. How can this balance be maintained? Just let each of you have a “separate sexuality” (this has nothing to do with sex life). For him, this may mean that he allows his wife to flirt, dance or look at her other men, it may allow her husband to watch pornography in order to gain experience for fantasy. Such indulgences help maintain a balance of desire and devotion.
9. He can explain the love of porn
The discovery of pornography by her husband is the main reason for marital trips to a specialist. But do not overreact and consider it pathology. No woman can, and should not, be for the man all. How to react to porn? First, determine whether watching adult movies for your boyfriend is compulsory and permanent and without them he can not have sex. If so, then seek the advice of a specialist. If not, then take this “mystery” and discuss: what it turns on compared to what you are repelled.
10. He needs sex, but not for what you think.
We face in life with constant difficulties and problems. Their decision is wasted time and energy, which deprives us of the joy and pleasure that sex gives. In the long list of priorities, it should not be in last place. Its health benefits are obvious: during orgasm, there is an outbreak of oxytocin, which is called the “attachment hormone” and thanks to which the pairs become closer to each other. In addition, sex relieves anxiety and stress, lowers blood pressure and promotes healing.